Are you in a rut in your relationship and want things to be different than they currently are?
The reason we stay in a marital rut, is simple. It is because we don't take action. We repeat the efforts that are getting us our current experience.
The reason we don't change anything is because of a thought in our mind.
When we do take action it is because of a result we want to have.
You THINK you are doing or not doing something because of the work you have to do or the time it takes to do it. That is never the reason. The real reason is because of a thought that you are having right now.
That thought creates a feeling which then drives our action or inaction.
If you are unhappy in your marriage or life and not taking action, its because of your current thought.
Stop right now and find that thought. What is it?
Now, what feeling is that thought causing?
You want to think your husband is causing that feeling but its not true. Your thought is. How you feel is ultimately determined by what you choose to think.
So how do you get unstuck? You change your thoughts.
You cannot change your thoughts if you are not even aware of what you are thinking. And until you start paying attention, your thoughts will unintentionally run the show.
Would you give a toddler a knife and let him run around the living room while you went to work? Of course not! Yet,that is what we do with our thoughts when we don't manage them. Unintentional thinking starts running the show and then we act like we have no choice but to feel the way we are feeling.
What do you want to feel? What would you need to feel to take action? That feeling is yours.
There are so many thoughts available to you. You get to manage the thoughts running around in your mind.
Find the thought that creates the wanted feeling that leads to desired action and that my friend is how you get out of a marital rut.
If you are in a rut, change is totally possibly. I totally know how to help people get out of ruts and have better relationships and lives. Set up your free mini session.
What if you got to be the example of Love in your home?
What if you saw your job as leading by example?
When your kids made bad choices, rather than lamenting at what a bad mom you are or blaming your husband for not stepping up, what if you said to yourself, "It's the kids' job to push and it's my job to teach. "
When you were disappointed in your man, what if you thought, "He is given to me to love."
You would stop complaining. You would quit spinning your wheels thinking how things should be different. You would pray about the problem, release it and then take the next best step.
If you quit thinking about how your husband should parent differently and just accepted how he does, you would no longer be wasting your time. You would use all the energy to do your best.
You would be the one to teach your kids the things you wanted to teach them (I bet when you are thinking he should step up you start sitting down). Rather than seeing your husband as working against you because of his lack or parenting, you would just see his parenting as different. You would see your differences brought contrast to the table, which doesn't have to be a negative thing.
If you looked at energy as a limited resource that you wanted to spend wisely, you would quit spending it on negativity. You would invest it in something that you wanted to grow.
Instead of talking about how much you are unhappy, you would intentionally think about what makes you happy. You would focus on what you want rather than what you don't want. You would celebrate what you have rather than lament over what you lack. You would invest in your future and quit living in your past.
I am not suggesting you push down negative thoughts or disappointments. That can actually create a tug-o-war increasing the energy that goes toward resisting negativity.
You just simply notice the negative thought, allow it to be there, and ask if the thought is serving you. If it is not, you gently shift your energy elsewhere. Metaphorically speaking, if you are on a walk, you might notice a cloud, but then focus on the sun peaking through, the fresh air you are breathing in or how capable your body is as it moves.
When you complain and indulge in negative thoughts or speech, you are advertising your own fears, not actually pointing something out about the other person.
When you lead by example, you are future and forward focused. You are looking to the desired destination, not where you don't want to be. You spend your energy in a positive way. You look for evidence of what is right. You quit worrying about what everyone else should be doing and do what you should be doing.
When we truly feel the release of just loving and leading by example (without haughtiness or judgment), we simply love and love always feels amazing.
When He did, his WORDS created the world (Genesis 1).
Nothing exists that He did not speak into existence.
God created us in his image. We get to rule over the world, the plants and animals. We too get to create (Hebrews 2:5-9)
What are you creating in your life by the words you speak? What are the words you think?
Our words have power.
The Spirit of God dwells in us beginning with His Word. His spirit gives us eyes and ears to understand Scripture.
Through the Word and His Spirit, our bodies are quickened and our spirits our encouraged. His Word written and spoken is living and active and sharper than a double edge sword. The Word of God is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart (Hebrews 4:12).
Not only did it call life into existence, it continues to bear life and truth in us.
Wives, if you are not feasting on His Word you are depriving your spirit of power and peace.
What words of truth will you speak to breath life into you marriage?
Pick up your Bible. Read it everyday.
If you want some consolidated truths, a great resource by Joyce Meyer is a little purple book called The Secret Power of Speaking God's Word. It takes Scripture as affirmations you can speak into all areas of your life. You can look under topics (marriage, depression, fear, worry, finances) and there are Scriptures lined up ready for you.
I encourage you to create peace in your mind and life by speaking God's Word. Put on those Words, like garments each morning.
Words have power, starting with the strings of sentences in your mind. Choose them wisely as they create your feelings which fuel your actions which ultimately create your results. How you are experiencing life now, always goes back to words.
Where we are in life proves what we are thinking. When we change our perspective, we can change our lives and our relationships.
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