Yesterday we talked about marital conflict and how perpetual problems are totally NORMAL.
Think about it.
Two human beings called to turn toward as one + each has no control over the other = struggle and conflict (yep, the results of a fallen world).
It is how we navigate this that determines our outcomes. The thoughts that we have, create our feelings about the situation, which pour into the actions we take thus the results we get.
When we allow the conflict and differences without freaking out or villainizing our spouse, it is all just fine.
But what about couples that don't?
These husbands and/or wives become gridlock and even more entrenched in their positions, killing the connection.
So how do you know if you are in Gridlock? Here are some questions gleaned from my study at The Gottman Institute that you can ask yourself:
If you answered yes to one or more of these, you are in gridlock. But be of good cheer knowing that there is a way out even if you answered yes to all 8! You just need a willingness to explore the real reason you are locking horns.
I will tell you more tomorrow!
Where we are in life proves what we are thinking. When we change our perspective, we can change our lives and our relationships.
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